


Seasonal Affection Disorder

by krbz



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Post-Resident Evil 5, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25326640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krbz/pseuds/krbz
Summary: Jill has some things to write about her least favorite season, but remembers what really matters in the end.
Relationships: Jill Valentine/Albert Wesker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12
Collections: Weskertine





	Seasonal Affection Disorder

It's so hot out today.   
I hate this kind of weather. I hate Summer.  
It's hot, it's dry, and well...it's depressing.  
It reminds me of him.

  
That is, the last time I saw him alive, anyway.  
Albert taught me how to shut out temperatures, but he never taught me how to shut out my feelings.   
I've tried to learn on my own, believe me.  
I can ignore the heat, but I can't ignore what it reminds me of.

  
When we were together, it was an advantage. Having such unrestricted feelings, that is.  
Now, it's more like a disability.  
Now, I stay inside when it's hot. Still, no one understands.

  
Sorry Chris, but I don't want to have lunch in the unbearable heat at the boardwalk bistro.

  
Sorry Claire, but I don't want to go to the mall and get dehydrated.

  
Sorry Barry, but I don't want to come camping and get infinite mosquito bites with the family.

  
Sorry Rebecca, but I can't.

  
Whatever it is, I just can't.   
I can't be honest with all of you either, so what's the point? To make me forget through meaningless activities?  
Sorry.

  
I'm always busy in the Summer. That's what I tell them.  
Busy getting over losing him. Alone.  
But when Winter comes, it's like we're together again.

  
He used to say to me:  
"Summer is vile. The smell of rotting rubbish, wafting through diseased air. The decaying through heat. The worst kind of people come out, en masse. The worst kind see beauty IN filth. 

Winter is beauty. The smell of the fresh firewood crackling on the hearth, dancing through sterile air. The preservation through cold. The worst kind of people stay inside, en masse. The worst kind see beauty AS filth."

  
I remember feeling my eyes becoming heavy, and I probably had a sour expression, I don't know. I was never good at masking my feelings, especially when my views of the world were being shattered so bluntly, and without warning. He was right, though. About all of it. I never saw Summer the same way again.

Then, he told me this:  
"I didn't forget about the best kind of people, Jill. I have one of them in front of me, right now. The kind who begin metamorphosis, and complete it. We are few in number, but we have a right to exist, my dear. Even if you and I are apart, we will always be one in the Winter."

  
I had never felt so important in my entire life before, or since, as I did in that moment. I'll never get tricked by Summer again, and I'll definitely never get tricked by the "worst kind of people."   
Haha, Albert. So cold, and misunderstood, to the untrained eye. But I understood you. I know how you came to be what you were, the man I would die for. I certainly proved that to you, didn't I?

  
You showed me that hatred can quickly arise from love. That is, using your cold hatred to preserve the love in your own world.   
"I hate so much, because I love so much, Jill. I hate that so few can see how beautiful things can truly be."  
Now that he's gone, well, I know exactly what he meant. It hurts.

I still keep his long coat. I still have it, from back then.  
Josh is the only one who knows, but he doesn't know why I really have it.   
I hid it, before we escaped. I went back for it, and wouldn't you believe it was still there, among the destruction? This world is crazy, how things work, I mean.

  
What's really crazy though, is how long I have to wait until Winter.  
I'm counting the days until I can step outside, into the first snow.  
I'll close my eyes, and feel the snowflakes kissing my face. I'll remember everything again.

My metamorphosis will begin all over again.  
I know I'll cry, I always do.

I always cry at reunions.

  
But then I'll smile.   
I'll smile because we can be one again, if only for a season.

  
I love you, Albert Wesker. I always will.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, I've been playing Revelations 2, and I was inspired to write this after finding a certain note by Alex. Those of you who've played know what I mean.   
> Bless those who can still see beauty, in a Kafkaesque world.


End file.
